“I think that’s going overboard,” he says. The research to date doesn’t support advice to abandon time-outs. “We’re currently doing research on whether time-ins work, but to my knowledge there’s virtually no evidence on whether time-ins are effective,” says George Holden, chair of the Department of Psychology at Southern Methodist University. But there’s little evidence that these strategies are superior. Over and over again, she says, they were directed to explore TBRI and time-ins, and they were discouraged from using time-outs. Call says time-ins are an inclusive practice that communicates to the child that “I’m here to help you calm down and we can work this out.” Time-outs, meanwhile, “exclude the child and can convey the message, ‘Figure this out on your own’ or ‘Calm yourself down.’”Īfter their adoption application was rejected, Unruh and her husband contacted several other adoption agencies. Unlike a time-out, which traditionally involves sending a child to his room or some other solitary place, a “time-in” involves having a child sit quietly in the same room with a parent.
“We advocate and teach caregivers to use time-ins instead of time-outs as a discipline practice with vulnerable children,” says Casey Call, assistant director of the Karyn Purvis Institute of Child Development at TCU. The same agency also advised the Unruhs to explore a method of parenting called Trust-Based Relational Intervention, or TBRI, developed at Texas Christian University. The adoption agency that rejected the Unruhs’ application recommended that Amy and Steve read Siegel’s book Parenting from the Inside Out. Help your kids thrive with the latest research-backed tips from TIME’s guide to parenting.
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